Beast And The Betel
by TharaCorleone
Summary: Betelgeuse decides to bug Russel, resulting in something somewhat unexpected. And that doesn't just include her newest 'trick'...


Like most days, Russel had once again shut himself away in the Nightmare Mansion library. Well, the books he read weren't half as annoying as some of the bewitched idiots he had to deal with, and he was still somewhat convinced that he could find a cure to his ailment in one of the tomes he was yet to scour.

Whilst it was far from being a full moon night, Russel found himself itching a little; scratching the irritation behind his left ear, he couldn't help letting out a soft, satisfied growl as he did so. Upon realising what had transpired, he then couldn't help shaking his head and letting loose a frustrated groan.

"Not a frickin' dog," he muttered to himself, returning his attentions back to his book. He was currently reading about the effects that the Full Moon could have on other supernaturals, and had been pleasantly surprised to find some golden information that could be used against Estalt (and also explain why he acted like he did).

Suddenly, one of the books on the table began to slide along the wood, as if being moved by an unseen force; slowly making its way to the edge, it opened itself up before toppling over onto the floor, despite Russel's best efforts to grab hold of it.

"I know you're here," he said, addressing what seemed like thin air. However, it did the trick as the familiar face of Betelgeuse made herself known as she slowly faded into view.

"What do you want, Beetlejuice?"

"Hey! If you're gonna say my name, say it properly," she protested, pouting in an annoyed way. "I am nothing like _him_."

"Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse," he muttered, sighing in irritation when her amused chuckle was the only response.

"That doesn't work on me, hun," she said, smirking. "No one summons me or tells me to take a hike, I come and go as I please."

"Really," Russel said, raising an eyebrow. "Then will you _please_ piss off?"

"Now that's not very nice," Betelgeuse pouted, pretending to be upset as she lightly smacked the back of Russel's head. "Bad dog."

Rolling his eyes, the male was making it quite clear that he was more interested in his book than in the female spirit; eyes soon focused on the tattered, somewhat graying pages, Russel then found it difficult to not let his eyes wander and confirm just what was slithering up his back.

"I swear, if that's one of those sand snakes or whatever they're called, I'll break their head open with this book."

"You're just sensing things," Betelgeuse replied, feigning innocence. "Besides, I know you too well. You respect books too much to treat them like such a barbaric tool. Besides...it's showtime!"

"No it's not."

At that moment, Betelgeuse found herself the target of a thrown, hard missile; initially thinking it to have been a book, it turned out to have been one of the shelves' tough, bronze bookends.

"What was that for!" She complained, shooting him a dark glance as the metal missed and clattered onto the floor.

"Just because you're a spirit doesn't mean I can't throw things at you," was the blunt, matter-of-fact response. "Now go bug someone else."

"Bug, eh?" Betelgeuse replied, smirking almost maliciously at Russel's words. Feeling a crick in her neck, the spirit felt it then sound an even bigger crack as she shifted the weight, but that was where it began to get a little disturbing. Her head rotated until it was upside down, her head limp as if she'd broken her own neck and her body hanging loosely as if like a rag doll. From her back, eight, black legs materialised from the spiritual skin as her eyes had now doubled in number, purple and bug-like as they blinked together in unison.

"You are quite possibly the most annoying and disgusting being I have ever met," Russel announced, his tone making it clear that this was not something to be proud of.

"Well they do call me the vile spirit Betelgeuse, hun," she retorted, as if she couldn't help it.

"You'll be the vile _stain_ once I squish you with the bookcase. Don't think I wouldn't do it."

Russel had since stood up and was now stood beside the study's largest bookcase, arm propped as if ready to push it down onto the floor at the drop of a hat. He noticed the other Nightmare began to slowly tread back, causing him to give a somewhat devious, victorious smile at the fact that the spirit realised she couldn't win; smiles soon turning to shocked looks when he saw her then scuttle up the wall and onto the ceiling with a rather childish grin on her face.

"I frickin' give up," he complained, sighing as he sat down once again.

"Awww, now where's the fun in that?"

In a split second she'd transformed back into her usual, humanoid form, seeming rather downhearted in the sudden stop of her fun; her fun being the torment of Russel, it might have finally sunk in that he just wasn't enjoying it like she was.

"I'm sorry, boy," she said, sounding apologetic as the male rolled his eyes. "Didn't realise it was getting to you that much. Bad Betelgeuse. Bad, bad Betelgeuse."

"Save it," Russel retorted, sounding dismissive. "You'll put on this whole sorry act to make yourself look at least a little decent but as soon as tomorrow comes, you'll be like this again. And I'm glad the next full moon is two weeks away because if it was tomorrow, I just KNOW you'd have that stupid Mistletoad trick prepared."

"Not true," the spirit said, shaking her head as she spoke in a serious manner. "And I can prove it."  
With a click of her fingers, a list suddenly appeared in a flicker of green, unusual flame and began to float beside Betelgeuse; what looked like a black quill appearing just a split second later, she grabbed said quill and scribbled Russel's name at the bottom of a moderately sized list of names.

"There!" She then said, smiling. "That's you added to the Nil Pesterandum, just under Endora. Seriously, if I try to trick you now, nothing will work. By which I mean, it'll be like I wasn't there and you can ignore me without getting annoyed and such."

"Who else is on there?" Russel asked, sounding genuinely intrigued as he turned around in his seat to face her.

"Hey, a spirit never tells," she responded, sounding a little insulted before breaking out into a playful snigger. "Only joking. Top of the list is Ielena. I'm a lot of things but stupid isn't one of them. Though speaking of stupid...that one Montana whose cat is with us. He thought I was summoning his ghost to tease him and just _lost_ it."

Russel had never had to deal with the likes of Griezzo but, having heard the stories, he considered his name on the Nil Pesterandum to be a blessing.

At that moment, man and spirit found themselves interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Pretty Boy! Ghost Light! Get yourselves out of the library, the evening feast is nearly ready!"

"Meanie," Betelgeuse muttered, seeming saddened in her annoyance. "He knows that I can't eat, I'm a frickin' spirit. "

"Well if you come downstairs, I'll help you beat up that burnt bastard," Russel said, chuckling as he began to make his way out of the library and towards the stairs.

"Hmm, I'd like that," she pondered, following him down the stairs and feeling a devious smirk form on her face. "I'd like that a lot..."


End file.
